User blog:Porterfield/Hansel and Gretel - Review Roundup
Below you will find links to a few reviews of this film, and some juicy excerpts from those reviews, but you should probably start your decision process (as in, "do I see this in theaters? Ever?") by watching the smallest of clips below: "Don't Eat the Candy" Enough said. It should be noted that not many critics actually even bothered watching this film compared to other movies, but the critics who did have little love for Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters. There are a couple of zeros, which is rare, but also a couple above average reviews. Let us know what you thought of the film in the comments section below. Loved It To my knowledge, no critics loved this film. Thought It Was Okay 'Joshua Starnes - ComingSoon.Net' Score: 6 out of 10 Excerpt: Director Tommy Wirkola refuses to pull any punches for our PG-13 adjusted eyes and it is very welcome. Yeah, it's not as clever as it could be and you'll probably never have the urge to watch "Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters" again, but you won't feel like you've wasted your time either. 'Sean O'Connell - CinemaBlend.Com' Score: 2.5 out of 5 stars Excerpt: The movie's often mean and nasty, but that's really its saving grace. “That was awesome,” screams a young Hansel and Gretel groupie after a grisly kill, and you might agree, of that’s your thing. 'JimmyO - JoBlo's Movie Emporium' Score: 5 out of 10 Excerpt: And even the 3D is really good as body parts and arrows shoot out into the audience, just as they should in a proper B-horror flick. Audiences will probably have fun as this lightweight and empty story plays out even if they will forget about it once the credits role. Hated It 'Elizabeth Weitzman - New York Daily News' Score: 2 out of 5 stars Excerpt: There are some funny lines, and several cool battle scenes between the hunters and their black-magic prey. But even in 3D, the effects fall flat as often as they impress, with little attention paid to important details. 'Peter Howell - Toronto Star' Score: 1.5 out of 4 stars Excerpt: The film isn’t funny enough for comedy or scary enough for horror, and the anachronisms are ludicrous. The story is set in a medieval European village, but Hansel packs a machine gun and also takes insulin jabs for the sugar addiction forced upon him by an evil witch. 'Lou Lumenick - New York Post' Score: 0 out of 4 stars Excerpt: Nothing makes a whole lot of sense in this incoherent movie, whose director’s philosophy seems to be: When in doubt, cut somebody’s head off. Famke Janssen, who wears some ghastly makeup, is on record as saying she did “Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters’’ to pay off her mortgage. 'Roger Moore - Movie Nation' Score: 1.5 out of 4 stars Excerpt: The movie doesn’t really work. They were shooting for sort of a witch hunting “Zombieland,” an f-bomb riddled “Van Helsing” packed with comical anachronisms – a Bavarian forest past with witch trials, pump shotguns and primitive tasers, where bottles of milk have woodcut pictures of “Missing Children” on the labels. 'Matt Singer - Screen Crush' Score: 3 out of 10 Excerpt: Look closely at ‘Hansel & Gretel’ and you’ll see faint traces of what could have been (and perhaps once was) a clever satire. Hansel requires daily injections for “sugar sickness” (i.e. diabetes) because of all the candy the witch force fed him. 'Calum Marsh - Slant Magazine' Score: 0 out of 4 stars Excerpt: But the once-vital sense of transgression associated with this kind of B-movie exploitation has dissipated to the point of nonexistence, its practices so thoroughly and unabashedly co-opted by Hollywood that even a hard-R horror flick is reduced to a bland amalgamation of tired clichés. 'Eric Melin - Scene-Stealers.com' Score: 1.5 out of 4 stars Excerpt: Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters exists in the uncomfortable middle ground somewhere between a formulaic mainstream action movie and a subversive horror comedy and ends up being neither. There’s all manner of exploding heads and dismembered body parts, but with nothing invested and a severe lack of personality, it’s not that much fun. The best thing about Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters is that, at 88 minutes, it’s mercifully short. Wikian Reviews What did you think of Hansel & Gretel? Loved it! Thought it was okay. Hated it! I would never watch that. Post your reviews in the comments section below! __NOEDITSECTION__ Category:Blog posts